Can a Fat Girl on the inside become a Skinny Girl on the outside?

No one said this was going to be easy...

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Roasted Vegetable 'Wellingtons'

Okay, first I need to give you a little background.  These are not wellingtons in any real way.  This recipe started with me wanting to make a vegetable wellington, but with the substitutions I made it didn't really work out.  What I made was DELICIOUS, but it was definitely not a wellington.  So that is the disclaimer for the evening.  What you have here is a deliciously sweet phyllo cup filled with caramalized vegetables, cheese and basil.  For the amazing shrimp you can look up the recipe here.


  • 1 head cauliflower
  • 2 heads broccoli
  • 4 large carrots
  • Pureed Basil
  • 2oz Reduced Fat Feta
  • 6 sheets of Phyllo Dough
  • Cut the cauliflower, broccoli and carrots into small peices.  Spread out on a baking sheet and sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Cook in an oven at 350 degrees for 30mins or until slightly caramelized.
  • Cut the phyllo dough into two inch squares, wet down and put three sheets in each cup of a mini cupcake tray.
  • Add a small amount of basil to each cup, the amount will depend on how strong you want the basil taste to be.
  • Cut 2oz of the feta into 24 pieces.  Place one piece into each cup on top of the basil.
  • When the roast vegetables come out of the oven, fill the remaining portion of each cup.  Slide the cups back into the oven.
  • The cups are done when the phyllo dough is brown and it has warmed the cheese, about 10-15 minutes.
  • Allow to cool and then serve.

Each of these cups has only 23 calories in it!  So you can enjoy quite a few of them.  If you find the phyllo dough to be too dry you may want to brush it with olive oil.  However this will significantly increase the calorie count.  Another idea is to skip the cup idea and just eat the roasted vegetables.  They are fabulous on their own.  For other holiday skinnytizer ideas go visit Melissa of They Call Me Hypo.  She made some Smoked Cream Cheese and Holiday Turkey Meatballs with Cranberry Sauce

Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Spicy Garlic Shrimp

The thing that I like best about the time between Thanksgiving and New Years is how much time you get to spend with the people you care about.  The thing I like the least is the extra roll in my middle.  Not okay.  So this month Three Stones/They Call Me Hypo set out to create amazing Skinnytizers that are full of flavor and you could eat all night long and not feel guilty!  I think the key to this, like any food, is to make them full of flavor so you don't feel like you're missing out.

I made two appetizers, these amazing Latin inspired Spicy Lime Shrimp and Veggie "Wellingtons" that I will share soon.  I can't tell you how AMAZING these shrimp were.  I have had a variation of this (consisting of all ingredients in a giant cabbage leaf) for lunch two days this week!  Also, make sure that you hop over to Melissa's blog They Call Me Hypo and check out her recipes for Smoked Cream Cheese and Turkey Holiday Meatballs with Cranberry Sauce.  Both are really good.  The meatballs are like Thanksgiving dinner in a single bite.
Spicy Lime Shrimp

1/2 lb Shrimp (I had 12, but the number will vary on how big the shrimp are, so buy however many you want to make)
1 Tbl Garlic
1 tsp Chili Powder
1 Jalapeno diced (take out the seeds if you want it less spicy)

  • Mix all these ingredients together and let them sit while you prepare everything else.  
  • When everything is ready to go, pop these on a grill pan or saute.
Sour Cream:
1 C Sour Cream
1 Lime zested
Tabasco to taste
  • Mix all these ingredients together
For the Cabbage leafs:
  • Slice the head of cabbage at the base so you can peel the leaves off easily
  • Cut off the part of the leaf that is limp so you're left with a nice firm leaf
  • Section the leaf to your desired shape
Assembling each leaf
  • Smear on a dollop of the sour cream
  • Add some finely sliced red onion
  • Add a small slice of avocado
  • Add shrimp to the top when done
That's it.  That is all there is to it.  It is so incredibly easy that you have no excuse for not doing it.  Oh, and each piece is only 43 calories.  So go, prepare and enjoy!  And look out for the Veggie "Wellingtons", coming soon!
Tip of the Day:  Don't Zest Yourself

Monday, December 5, 2011

This is what I'm doing

Needless to say I haven't really been successful dieting this time around.  I have spent the last couple days trying to figure out why that is.  It really comes down to the fact that I'm not eating like I should and I'm not getting the exercise I used to.  The last time I was really successful at weight loss was when I was living in Boston.  I didn't have a car, I was out of the house 15 hours a day between grad school, internship, job, social life, etc.  Nowadays I drive to work, sit at a desk all day, and then go home and just hang out around the house.  So December is get this fat ass moving month.  Here are my goals:

1. Successfully eat within 1200 calories a day.
2. Get 30 minutes of exercise a day (at least) and try new exercises.
3. Weigh in everyday and record my ups and downs
4. Keep a journal, track foods and exercise as well as how I feel everyday with what I've eaten or not during the day.
5. Stop eating out. Make all my own food. This will help with calorie control as well as my wallet (which Black Friday wasn't kind to).
6. Drink 64oz of water everyday.  Gotta pee that weight off.

I know that I'm most successful when I'm busy and active.  I am starting with little things.  Walking to the Safeway that's a few blocks away.  Working myself up to biking the 5 (relatively) flat miles to work.  Moving, moving, moving everyday is my new mantra.  I want to loose 16lbs by my birthday, which is 8 weeks away.  I want to fit into my just slightly too small jeans when I go out and celebrate the beginning of the end of my 20's.  These are the best years of my life and I have wasted enough time not being the person I know I am on the inside.

Wish me luck.  This first week will be a tough one, but I'm no longer going to fill myself with food to trick myself into thinking my life is full.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

What am I doing?

I don't know what I'm doing this week.  I have eaten crap all week, and I feel horrible.  There isn't much more to say than that.  I am not doing what I need to do and I'm not seeing results because of it.  I have to find that thing inside me that can let me be successful.  Where did it go?  Have you seen it?

Sunday, November 13, 2011


I am very excited to share this post.  Melissa, from They Call My Hypo, and I took on the challenge to make a Thanksgiving feast without all the fat and calories.  It was a total success, if I do say so myself.  We reduced the calories, but kept everything chock full of flavor.  I was completely satisfied by what was on the table and didn't feel like anything was missing.  Another thing to keep in mind is that everything on this table is low in fat and gluten free.

We each made two dishes.  I made a brown rice stuffing and a pumpkin pie.  Melissa made an amazing stuffed chicken dish and green bean 'casserole'.  You can see those recipes over at her blog.  And I mean look at this:
You know you want to
So here's the best part:  The recipes!

Brown Rice Stuffing

1 tube italian chicken sausage (no skin added)
1 cup uncooked brown rice
1/2 cup fat free chicken broth
1 1/2 cups chopped celery
1 large onion chopped
2 medium granny smith apples, cored and chopped
1 cup dried cranberries

1. Preheat oven to 375
2. Cook the brown rice in a separate pot
3. Brown the sausage until fully cooked, add to casserole dish
4. Use the leftover drippings from the sausage instead of adding extra oil and cook the celery and onion
5. Mix celery and onion in the baking dish with the sausage.  Add the brown rice, apples and dried cranberries to the dish.
6. Add the chicken broth to the dish to keep it moist, and put it in the oven for 15mins or until the apples are cooked.

Makes 12 servings.  Calories: 135, Carbs: 25.4, Fat: 1.5g, Protein: 5.8.

Low Fat Pumpkin Pie

1 16oz can Libby's Pumpkin
1 can fat-free evaporated milk
3/4 cup sugar
1 Tbl cornstarch
1/2 Tbl cinnamon
1 tsp ground cloves
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp allspice
1 egg white

1. Preheat oven to 375
2. Mix pumpkin, milk, sugar, cornstarch and spices in a bowl.
3. Whip egg white until stiff and fold into the pumpkin mixture.
4. Pour into an oven safe dish and cook for 1 hour and 15 minutes or until you can put a toothpick into the center and pull it out clean.
5. Allow to cool.  Serve with a dollop of fat free whipped cream and reduced fat graham crackers.  Enjoy!

Makes 8 servings. Calories: 125, Carb: 29, Fat: .375, Protein: 3g.
Graham: 5 calories per 1/4 of a cookie.
Whipped Topping: 5 calories per 2tbl

I hope that you are all able to enjoy this meal as much as we did.  This gives you all the flavors of the holiday without all the calories.  You can eat a really full plate without all the guilt.  Happy Holidays from Three Stones/They Call My Hypo!


Monday, November 7, 2011

Fall is Upon Us

I love Fall.  Or really, I love the promise that winter is coming.  That first morning when you wake up and you see frost and you can taste the cold in the air.  There's something about it that's so refreshing after a long 'meh' summer.  Fall is when the rain comes again, and for a born and bred Washingtonian like myself, the smell of the first rain is something you look forward to every year.

The downside is that working out by walking isn't as fun as it was when it was warm and dry.  Now we have to hike up our big girl panties and march out into the miserable cold.  Rain smells great, and its nice to watch from inside, but not so much fun to be out in for extended periods of time.  Regardless, if I let rain get in my way I wouldn't exercise between October and May so I can't use that as an excuse.  I went walking last Wednesday with Melissa from They Call Me Hypo, like we do every week.  This was our first rain adventure.  She's not from Washington and has a few things to learn about proper layering.  I give you exhibit A:
As you can see, I layered.  I am wearing a hat a sweatshirt and a waterproof jacket.  This is key for rainy weather.  I was actually too warm during parts, although I'll admit I should have worn gloves.  Here's exhibit B:
Not Me
As you can see her sweatshirt is not giving her the warmth and dryness that you need to rally when faced with inclement weather.  #1 rule for rainy weather, waterproof attire.  The sweatshirt will bog you down and give you a chill.

All in all, it was a good walk.  Energizing and proactive.  Don't let a little rain get in your way.  Just be prepared and wear proper clothes.  You'll be glad you did it when you get home, just make sure there is a hot toddy or something else equally warm waiting for you.  Next I'm going to share with you a great fall recipe for apple butter!  Nothing tastes more like fall than apples and cinnamon.  Also, this week is the Three Stones/They Call Me Hypo Skinnygiving!!!  We'll be making a holiday meal that's both filling and healthy.  Something that you can try with your family.  Coming Soon!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Eat Right for Your Type

Over the last week, when I wasn't getting pecked to death by students, I was reading a book called "Eat Right 4 Your Type.  Basically it talks about how the dietary needs for people with different blood types work and why.  I actually looked into this because I'm trying to find something that A) helps me lose this weight and B) helps me feel better.  

Also, every month I'm trying to add a vitamin to my regimen.  The more I look into these things the more I feel I need to be listening to my bodies individual needs.  The dramatic difference I have seen in my own outlook and attitude since I started taking vitamins is unbelievable.  I haven't felt this good in years, and hopefully soon, my body will start to reflect how healthy my mind is.  These are the vitamins I take every night:

The two small clear gels are my Vitamin D.  My savior from psuedohypothyroidism.  Continuing clockwise you'll see my Cod Liver Oil, Vitamin B (Which has helped my depression and anxiety significantly), my multi-vitamin, and the giant one in the middle is CoQ10.  I want to add Vitamin C to the party, but I take one step at a time.  I am loving the fact that taking these, and getting my chemical balance back in order, means that I am 100% off ALL anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, and sleeping aids.  I'm not against medication, and I will take it again if I need it, but it's nice to have that choice.

The biggest and smallest pills next to a quarter = perspective.
My hope with this new diet is that it will help reset my metabolism.  Since my blood type is A- I will follow the type A eating regime.  I won't go into too much detail (because I don't want to get sued), but basically I will eat as a pescatarian.  No red meats, very little poultry, and no gluten.  The no gluten part isn't exactly what the diet says, but it does say if you have issues with mucus to avoid it.  I have terrible sinuses and if this could help me wake up headache free it will be worth giving up things I love.  The meat however, apparently it just makes my ass fat.  It will take a lot of willpower for that one...

I'm just working to have a body that can keep up with my energized brain.  I love all this energy I have and I want to figure out a way to get my body caught up.  I'm going to fight off disease and live a better lifestyle.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Easy Peasy Breakfast Sandwich

So I'm trying to figure out some simple easy to make recipes for breakfast.  I'm terrible when it comes to breakfast, so it's best if I have something that I can grab as I run out the door 5 minutes late to work.  So I thought I would try a trick that I saw online.  The recipe is super easy and they still taste really good when you heat them up.  There are the best for a quick breakfast on the run (when you have access to a microwave.

12 eggs
12 strips of bacon (regular, Canadian, or turkey)
12 whole wheat/high fiber English muffins
12 slices of cheese (I prefer Cheddar for a nice strong taste)

1.  Crack one egg into each cup of a cupcake tin.  In hindsight I would have scrambled the eggs before filling the tins, but c'est la vie.

2.  Cook in the oven for 10 minutes at 350 or until done.  While they cook prepare your other ingredients.

3.  Fry up some BACON!

4.  Toast the English muffins (hopefully you have a 4+ slice toaster cause this part can take a while.

5.  Build each sandwich with one egg, one slice of bacon and one slice of cheese.

6.  Stick it in the freezer until you're ready to eat it.

7.  To reheat, heat the egg separately, about 1 minute in the microwave, and squeeze excess moisture out of it. (This is the only unappetizing part, and I'm trying to figure out a way around this.).  Then heat the rest of the sandwich for 1 minute, stack it back together, and enjoy!

I still have some tweeking to do, but overall I have really enjoyed this recipe!  It has been quick and it lets me to get a high fiber, high protein breakfast.  The way I made it with pork bacon and cheddar there are 296 calories.  You can easily reduce that by using low fat cheese and turkey bacon (or Canadian Bacon).  I'm trying the all natural route so I used the closest thing.

I hope these make your mornings easier too!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Yummy Yummy Spring Rolls!

There are two things in life that you can't buy:  Fabulous Friends and Homegrown Tomatoes (it's a song, look it up).  Well tomato season never real got going around these parts, but thank goodness I have Melissa of They Call Me Hypo.  We had our Asian food extravaganza and it turned out AMAZING.  She made Baked Crab Ragoons that were low fat, delicious and easy to make.  Seriously go to her blog and check them out.

I made Fresh Spring Rolls that will go great with anyone's asian themed meal.  These are the perfect appetizer because they are low calorie and very filling.  They are a perfect start to your meal, or even as part of the main course.  The best part is they are really easy to make and you can substitute the vegetables you like for ones that you don't.  The first recipe of these I tried had a lot of rice sticks in them, but I added sprouts instead.  So vary the recipe based on your likes.

Fresh Spring Rolls with Sweet Sesame Dipping Sauce

Fresh Spring Rolls
  • 1 cup shredded carrots
  • 1/4 cup packed cilantro leaves (or more if you love cilantro as much as I do)
  • 1 cup shredded lettuce
  • 1 cup clover sprouts
  • 1 tsp chopped garlic (yeah, right.  I think I used about a tablespoon)
  • 1/4 cup finely chopped green onion
  • 1 cup chopped, seeded red bell pepper
  • 16 cooked medium shrimp, shelled and deveined, cut lengthwise.
  • 8, 8 inch round spring roll wrappers (I use tapioca wrappers)
  • red pepper flakes, to taste
  1. Mix all the veggies, and the red pepper flakes, into a large bowl until they are well combined.
  2. Soak the spring roll wrappers until they are soft and malleable. Lay them out on a flat surface and smooth until flat.
  3. Lay four pieces of your shrimp on the wrapper.  I like to put the cooked side down so you can see the color through the wrapper.
  4. Place about 3/4 cup of the veggie filling over the shrimp.  Fold one side of the wrapper over the top of the filling.  Then fold the ends up over the top wrapper.  Then just roll until the wrapper is securely holding the filling in.  Be careful not to tear the wrapper, but also work to make sure the wrap isn't too loose.
  5. Continue until you have all eight rolls completed.
  6. Dip and enjoy!
Sweet Sesame Dipping Sauce
  • 1/4 cup lime juice
  • 1/4 cup rice-wine vinegar
  • 1 Tbl sesame oil
  • 2 Tbl reduced sodium soy sauce
  • 2 tsp brown sugar
  • 2 tsp fresh ground ginger
  1. Mix all ingredients in a jar, secure lid tightly, and then shake it!
  2. Enjoy it with your spring rolls.
A super easy, super healthy recipe.  Nutritional Information per serving of 1 spring roll and 1 Tbl sauce:  130 calories, 15g carbs, 1g fat, 13g protein, 1g fiber.

Don't you just want to eat all of that?  Well you can!!!
Look forward to next month when Three Stones/They Call Me Hypo will conquer healthy holiday options!  Things will be delicious you'll be able to serve them to your whole family without anyone knowing they're good for you!  Be there!  Now go over to They Call Me Hypo and check out the recipes for Baked Crab Ragoons and Sushi, so you can impress your friends with an Asian food night!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Food Matters

I have been really sick this past week.  Like really, really sick.  Fever, chills, aches, cough, congestion, name it.  The upside is that I feel very svelte, the downside is I feel like crap.  The moral of this story is that I had a lot of time to sit at home and watch TV in between naps.  One of the things that I watched was Food Matters.  It's a documentary about nutrition and how it can affect our health.  It was amazing, and I highly suggest that you watch it.  To sum it up, food is best for you in its freshest form, and 51% of your diet should be raw.  Also taking vitamins is very good for you and can help prevent and cure disease.  So for October I am OVER processed foods.

For the next month I am going to eat everything in the freshest form I can.  When I cook I'm going to use olive oil, butter, etc., because regardless of how high in calories it is, it's not made from chemicals that your body can't process.  This makes a lot of sense to me because when I look around at my friends that are healthier versus my friends that aren't as healthy, it's really the amount of processed foods they're eating.  So I'm going to make food for myself and really cleanse out my system.  Also I'm going to snack on raw fruits and vegetables and I think that I'm going to feel better.  Taking Vit. D so changed my life that I have real faith that by changing my nutrition and increasing my vitamin intake I'm going to see real changes in how I feel, and that's what's most important.

So hopefully definitely next month will be chock full of some really delicious recipes.  Starting with the Three Stones/They Call Me Hypo Asian Food Night!  It will be fresh, it will be delicious, it will be awesome.  I'm very excited about this turn and I'm really looking forward to listening to my body and seeing how changing what goes in it will change how I feel.  You are what you eat and I'm tired of being things that I can't pronounce!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Hi My Name Is Bree...

And I'm an addict.

I am addicted to food.  It's the only way I can explain why I have to eat, even when I'm not that hungry.  I will eat and eat and eat, and its negatively affecting my health.  The biggest issue between being addicted to food and being addicted to something else is that you can't quite food cold turkey.  You have to eat, or you die, this makes it hard to regulate.  I wish I could go cold turkey, but that would be considered anorexia and not approved by any medical professional.

The diet I've been on this month I would give myself a D.  I have had beef and pork (two times each) this month, which is a dramatic decrease for me.  The one thing I am most proud of is that I haven't had any fast food this month.  That has been hard and I realize that I only have a couple of days left in the month and I'm going to make it!  I'm already formulating what I'm going to next month and I'm excited about it, but that's for my next post.

I didn't do the best with exercise, but I did sign up for Yoga and Abs through HR at work.  They are intense and I'm really enjoying them.  I'm also going back to bellydance, which I'm very excited about.  So while I haven't worked out everyday, I have done some things to increase my physical activity.  There is still a lot of work for me to do toward my goal, but I have hope.

This weekend marks the second Three Stones/They Call Me Hypo cooking extravaganza.  Look forward to some good pictures!  Also next month there will (hopefully) be a lot more recipes and pretty pictures to share with everyone.

Current Weight:  210.5

Monday, September 5, 2011

La Cucina Mexicana

I had a great weekend!  This weekend marked the first week of (hopefully) a new tradition!  I got together with my friend over at They Call Me Hypo to have a super healthy mexican food night, that followed all of our various dieting rules.  I made tequila, lime, garlic marinaded chicken and some yummy baked onion rings!  Also we made a healthy version of a strawberry margarita that I can't wait to share!  Here are the recipes:

The Skinny Margarita

  1. 1 shot of tequila
  2. 1 cup frozen strawberries
  3. 1/2 cup diet sprite
  4. A squeeze of lime juice
  5. A dash of orange extract
  6. Ice to taste
  7. Blend that shit!
It is delicious and counts the same as a shot of tequila! I use the frozen strawberries more instead of ice, gives it a really good flavor.  You can see it does come out a little foamy from the sprite, but it is delicious!

Also I wanted to point out how funny it is that I posted the drink first.  Obviously I have my priorities straight.  Here is a mouthwatering picture of the main course!

(Chicken, onions, pico de gallo, and cottage cheese enchiladas with an amazing cilantro pesto!)

Tequila, Garlic, Lime Marinade
  1. 1 cup garlic sliced
  2. 1/2 cup cilantro chopped
  3. 1 jalapeno diced
  4. 1 serrano pepper diced
  5. 1 cup lime juice
  6. 1/2 cup tequila
  7. 1/3 cup soy sauce
  8. 1 1/2 lbs chicken breast cut as desired
  9. Throw everything in a bag and marinate overnight.
  10. Grill on the bbq, grill pan (if you like char) or bake in the oven until done.
The onions:
  1. Slice onion (sweet onions come out the best) and pop out the rings
  2. Put on a baking dish and drizzle with left over marinade
  3. Put under the broiler until soft and done
The Pico de Gallo
  1. Chop some tomatoes (take the seeds out)
  2. Do the same with red onion, jalapeno, and cilantro
  3. Mix in a bowl and enjoy!
If you want the recipe for the delicious enchiladas, go check out They Call Me Hypo!  She always has amazing recipes that are low in calories and high in flavor.  She'll be posting this recipe soon.  Also, I'm already looking forward to next month when we concur Asian cuisine!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Making a Decision

So I've been at this for a few weeks and I'm not succeeding.  I am really frustrated, but when I look at what I'm doing on a daily basis, I shouldn't be loosing weight.  I'm not making the choices I need to take.  I need to make a decision.  I am deciding this is something that I want.  This is not a game, this is something that I have to commit myself to.

So I'm coming up with some rules for myself.  It is September 1st and while it will be too late for me to use these rules today, I will follow them for the rest of the month and see how I do.

1.  No more cheat days.  I've always told myself that I get one day a week to eat what I want, I have been taking that too far lately.  Also it opens the door for further justification.  So this month there will be no cheat days.

2.  No take out/fast food/pre-made food. I will prepare all of my food so that I know what's in it, how many calories are in it, and how much I am eating (the only note to this is that I may take a business trip to Canada, in which case I will eat the freshest thing I can find)

3.  No red meat or pork.  This one will be HARD, but in the end I think that it will improve my system.

4.  No junk food, candy, baked goods, anything that should be considered a 'treat'.  The goal is to eat fresh, and detox my body.

5.  Limited amounts of carbs.  I'm not going to give them up, however they will have to fit into my daily limits and be either whole grain or high in fiber, and only one in a meal.  So no corn with potatoes and pasta.  I must pick one.

6.  I will record everything that I eat.  I have a subscription to weight watchers and dammit I'm going to use it.  Nothing will go past my lips without being recorded.

7,  I will exercise everyday.  Even if its only some sets of abs, I will not go a day without doing something.

And...that's all I've got.  I think that will be enough for now.  Next post I'll let you know how I'm a huge boozer...only not ;).  Also I promise there will be some excellent recipes coming out, with delicious looking pictures!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Not Playing Nice

Most days I go through a variety of emotions about my weight.  Sad, motivated, laissez-faire, happy, but I am PISSED.  I am so tired of being over-weight.  I am tired of my clothes not fitting right.  I am angry at myself that I can't seem to get a grasp on it this time around.  I am angry that even if I try my hardest it is going to take months to get where I want to be.  It is just too much for me to handle today.  I want to scream and cry and beat myself up, but I know that it won't do any good.  The only upside that I can think of right now is that I am actually not stress eating because of this. 

I. AM. DONE. Being a fatty.  I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I have again.  I want to win this battle, but today is a day where I'm so mad at myself for getting into this shape again.  Why didn't I work to stay where I was at?  I realize that there were medical factors that contributed to my weight game, but I also know that I helped the process along.  So today I am angry.  I am pissed. I am going to make this happen if it causes me misery in the process. 

Enough excuses.  I am going to do this.  I have to do this.  That's my rant for today.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Letting Loose

This weekend was the big move for me.  This was a huge workout for me, which is great, but the eating portion of the weekend was terrible.  I didn't go shopping in the weeks before the move, and by the time moving weekend rolled around I didn't have a lot to eat.  Also, I was running back and forth all day from one place to the next.  So I ate a lot of fast food.  I also feel terrible now.

I am fine with eating badly for one day, but I really went too far with it this weekend.  There were plenty of opportunities for me to eat better than I did, but I convinced myself that it was okay because of everything I was doing.  In the end I just made myself sick.  I ate so much that I wouldn't normally eat and just kept going, and with my system not used to that kind of food.  Today I hit a wall with it, I had terrible diarrhea and I even threw up.  It hit me like a wall and I just felt like fat and grease.

I need to remember that my body feels better when I eat better.  I am really motivated to eat very well this week.  It will take a day or two to detox, but I know that it will be worth it.  I am determined to fill my kitchen with healthy options and not eat any crap.  I will make all my own lunches, and work on making sure I budget and work out as much as I can.

Hopefully this week won't screw me up too bad...but I'm feeling really slovenly right now. :(

Current Weight:  211.9

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

No Pain/No Gain???

So I've been working out with a veritable Nazi who creates walking routes designed by the devil himself and SOMEHOW I'm still surprised when it absolutely sucks. Want a good workout? Climb a hill while pushing a stroller. That's right, go find some little kid that you can drag along with you and push them up a freaking mountain. This does two things:

1) Totally works out your upper body because those teacup humans weigh a lot when its you against gravity.

2) It forces you to do lunges! This is great in theory, but when you wake up the next morning feeling like you spent a weekend in a Tijuana brothel its seems like a terrible idea in retrospect.

And one other thing: Unrelated to the children, but relevant to the current situation, is the fact that you should not drink beer while mountain climbing. The carbonation in your stomach increases the urge to throw up. As we started out walking last night we decided we would stop at the liquor store that was halfway down the hill. We thought they closed at 8pm and after booking it (apparently nothing motivates us like vodka) we found out that it actually closes at 7pm. It was disappointing.

So as a backup plan we decided to go to the convenience store, also located in the strip mall, and get a 6 pack to work on. Don't worry, it was light beer, therefore healthy. This was a great idea until we actually started climbing back up the hill. Then all of that refreshing carbonation that you enjoyed at the park while the children played starts to foam and bubble back up. There were a few times I thought I might actually hurl foam up on the side of the road. I guess drinking and exercise don't mix.

Regardless finding a great walking buddy and integrating new challenges into your routine. Strollers are a great way to work out the upper body on the way up and the abs on the way down. Switching off with hand weights is another good one. The best workout is one that you can do with someone and enjoy it.  

Saturday, August 6, 2011

A Quandry

I’m having a little trouble.  Not with dieting, that’s going great.  Not with exercise, thanks to a friend that’s happening.  I’m having trouble with how to reward myself when I’ve accomplished something.  This last week I did a great job of dieting and working out and I lost 3lbs, so 1 ahead of schedule!  My first thought was that I should reward myself, and immediately I thought of what type of food I wanted.  And here in lies the problem. 

I don’t want to continue to reward myself with food.  That isn’t going to be productive in the long run.  I need some new ideas on how to reward myself.  I haven’t been shopping for new clothes lately, cause lets face it, no one wants to buy clothes that are that big.  I don’t really get a rush for putting money in a jar or something when I loose.  There’s only so much stuff you can own.  I need some suggestions.

It’s hard when you realize that your life has turned into a habit that you need to break.  I need to stop making food a focus in my life and instead just something that needs to happen everyday.  Not something to make myself feel better, make myself feel whole, or something that is cheering me on.  There will definitely still be times when I celebrate with food, like on my birthday I can eat ANYTHING I want, and that will never change.  Those occasions just need to be fewer and farther between.

So really, what do I do for the right now?

Friday, August 5, 2011


That’s a really big word.  I know I haven’t written on here in a while, and frankly it’s because I haven’t been able to get any of the weight off. In fact, I piled even more on.  This was so discouraging and I just didn’t know what to do.  I had no energy, I didn’t even want to (and didn’t) get out of bed for days.  This was very hard for me, because I wanted to make a change, but I didn’t feel that I could with my body and my mind behaving the way it was.  I was also grappling with some really intense feelings of depression.  The kind where you can’t get up, and everyday you want to just close your eyes and never wake up.  It was a very dark time for me and I worried what would happen if I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling this way.

Thankfully I have an amazing doctor.  I went and spoke with her about my feelings of depression and lethargy.  She had me go through some blood test and we found the cause of my weight gain, mood and lack of energy.  An extreme Vitamin D deficiency was causing pseudohypothyroidism.  This means that I was having all of the same symptoms of someone that is suffering from thyroid problems, but when they tested my thyroid it was always fine.  Finally she thought to test my vitamin D.  I was put on 50,000 IU a week to get the levels up and I can’t tell you what a change it has made in my life.  I have a lot more energy now, and I finally feel like I can put in the effort to loose weight and get back to the healthy person I was a year ago.  I still need to loose A LOT of weight to get there, but I finally feel that it isn’t an insurmountable goal.

So I’m jumping in with both feet.  I’m actually excited to diet again…weird right?  I am also have a great workout buddy in Melissa from ‘They Call Me Hypo’.  She has had to change her life around due to health issues as well and, to be frank, I can’t complain about diet when I look at what she has to do!  I do, however plan to steal lots of recipes from her!  I am trying to get her to kick my ass on walks, because we both have weight to loose and motivation to do it. Some days come with more motivation than others.

So today I start out again, and even with everything that’s going on, my new job, moving, living by myself…I am ready to make the healthy change in my life.  It’s good that I finally feel like a living, breathing human being again!  I am looking forward to enjoying the rest of my summer and getting svelte by Christmas!

Current Weight:  214

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


I am perfectionist, type A personality, control freak, so when I fail at something I don't take it very well.  Yesterday I didn't succeed in sticking to the diet I had chosen.  I caved last night and had some pasta, and some potato chips with sour cream...and I felt horrible.  Part of that is because even though I crave this food, it makes me feel like a giant salt lick.  Part of it is because I have a very hard time distinguishing failing at something and being a failure.

I realize that there is a HUGE difference between not sticking to a diet and being a failure at life, but sometimes it's really hard for me.  I don't fail at a lot of things in life, I've been lucky that way, and I am no stranger to working hard.  So it really gets to me that my weight is something that I'm having such a hard time managing.  Why can't I just do it?  Why do I let food win?  Why can't I just not eat things that I know are bad for me?  I don't know.  It hurts me everyday to look in the mirror, because I don't like what I see.  I want to look in the mirror and feel pride and not failure.

I was so close to throwing in the towel for the entire week.  In fact by the time I went to bed I was convinced I couldn't do this particular diet and I needed to do something that was easier.  Easier.  No one will ever say that loosing 50lbs would be easy.  I'm so disappointed in myself, but this morning I decided I was going to power through.  I will be listening to my body and if I need something that has some fat in it, I will have a piece of cheese or something else healthier for me than junk food.  This is a long road and I've only just started, but I can't sit here and beat myself up about what I have done so far.  I need to be able to look myself in the eye everyday and see someone that I can be proud of.

Today I am sticking to the diet.  It is hard and I am hungry, but then I grabbed some of my favorite jeans that I wore all the time last summer...and I couldn't even get them over my ass.  That was hard.  I have to decide which I want more.  Food that makes me feel crappy when I'm done eating it, or feeling good about the body I inhabit.  I don't mean to be such a downer today, but I'm just not feeling it at the moment.  I haven't broken my diet today, but I also haven't felt great about myself either.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Monday, May 23, 2011

The Evil Diet

This week I am going to do the Scarsdale diet.  The Scarsdale diet was invented in hell...well probably not, but it is pure evil.  Basically it is low carb, high protein and very regimented.  Everything is mapped out for you on a daily basis, and you don't get to eat anything that isn't on the plan.  I did this diet once before and I lost 7lbs in 4 days.  The downfall for me was the fact that the diet is so high in acids.  I have had ulcers in the past and so I'm hoping I make it through Friday, but I'm going to play it by ear.

Everyday for breakfast I get to have half a grapefruit and a piece of dry protein toast.  I can also have tea, coffee, or water.  Lunch today will be deli meats and tomatoes.  Dinner will be fish, salad, protein toast, and grapefruit.

This is going to be my last extreme diet week for a little while.  Next week I will be starting my new job and I will be taking an easier, less stressed approach than this or Atkins.  Probably a straight calorie counting method. Also, I feel after two weeks of extreme dieting my body will need some time to readjust.  ...and I'm hoping with this diet I will be able to fit into those work pants!

There will probably be a lot of whining on here tomorrow, seeing as the second day of a diet is always the hardest for me.  I'm hoping for a great day on the scale come Friday.  I figure you can do anything for 5 days.  Wish me luck!

Here are the details of the Scarsdale diet, I have not included the meals for Saturday or Sunday since I won't be doing it by then:

Where no portion is indicated, you can eat as much as you like.

Eat until you are satisfied, not stuffed.

Between meals you can snack on carrots and celery

BREAKFAST EVERY DAY: One half grapefruit -if not available,use fruits in season
One slice of protein bread, toasted, no spread added
Coffee /tea (no sugar, cream or milk, no honey)

Assorted cold cuts
Tomatoes - sliced, broiled, or stewed
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water 
Fish or shellfish, any kind 
Combination salad, any greens and vegetables as you wish
One slice protein bread, toasted
Grapefruit - if not available, use fruits in season
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water

Fruit salad, any combination of fruits
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Dinner: Plenty of broiled, lean hamburger
Tomatoes, lettuce, celery, olives (limit 4), cucumbers
and/or Brussels Sprouts
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water

Lunch: Tuna fish or salmon salad (oil drained off)
with lemon and vinegar dressing
Grapefruit, or melon, or fruit in season
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Sliced roast lamb, all visible fat removed
Salad of lettuce,tomatoes,cucumbers,celery
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water

Two eggs, any style (no fat used in cooking)
Low-fat cottage cheese
Zucchini, or string beans, or sliced/stewed tomatoes
One slice of protein bread, toasted
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Dinner: Roast, broiled or barbequed chicken (skin and visible fat removed before eating)
Plenty of spinach, green peppers, string beans
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water

Assorted cheese slices (preferably lowfat)
Spinach, all you want
One slice of protein bread, toasted
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water
Dinner: Fish or shellfish
Combination salad (any fresh vegetables desired, raw or cooked)
One slice of protein bread, toasted
Coffee/Tea/Diet Soda/Water

Friday, May 20, 2011

Week 2

Sorry I wasn't on yesterday, my power cord died.  Here are the results of my Atkins trial.


207.5 (-2.4lbs) !!!


Bust:  39 (-2)
Waist:  36 (-1)
Hips: 46.5 (-.5)
Ass: 47 (-0)

Assessment:  I would like to point out that I was pissed when I got on the scale this morning and had only lost two and a half pounds.  I had to talk myself down from the ledge because I know that loosing over two pounds in a week is fabulous, but also unhealthy.  I didn't eat a lot this week, because there wasn't anything I wanted.  Also I just felt really greasy, bloated and backed up.  All that meat and cheese, not great for your digestion.  This may be a diet where you can loose a lot in a short amount of time, but it isn't a diet for me.  I will continue with it today, but I will also be figuring out what I'm going to do next week.  Oh and one final detail, LOVE that I lost the most weight in my BOOBS...yeah.  Those will always be the first to go won't they?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Shopping Extravaganza

I have learned a great bit about myself in the last couple of days. Number 1: I should be avoided on the first two days of a diet at all costs. Number 2: I love carbs and Atkins is the devil sent to punish me. Number 3: Eating almost an entire pound of bacon (a lb before it was cooked, don't know what it weighed after) isn't a great way to start the day. Number 4: It takes me two days to get to that state where you don't feel like you're starving. Number 5: I have some definite patterns in my shopping that have been blown out of the water by this diet.

I haven't bought anything that's full fat for years without feeling like it was a treat. I was standing in the salad dressing aisle staring at the different types of and thinking how good ranch would taste. The problem is I never get ranch because it's full fat and the low fat options don't taste good. Suddenly I can buy things that are high fat, in fact, it's encouraged! This seems anti-intuitive to me, but I suppose if you can't have any carbs you have to eat something. I always thought that it made the most since to eat less fat. Fat is 9 calories per gram, while protein and carbohydrates are 4 calories a gram. However I guess it's easier to cut out fats. I immediately go for the low fat options and I had to conciously decide to buy the regular format. I didn't realize how ingrained that way of thinking was to me, but it showed me if I have trained myself to do that, I can retrain myself any way I want.

So I was able to go on a bit of a spree yesterday and bought ranch. I also got a type of low carb ice cream that's only 4 net carbs per serving. It was actually pretty good, but it did have a slight yogurt like after taste. Today I'm going to eat a lot of salad, because I feel that the last couple of days I've only had meat, cheese and eggs. I need to make sure that I'm getting vegetables in there, even if they are slathered in ranch! Yesterday I thought this might have killed me, but this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm over that hump, but I better see results on the scale come Friday or I'm going to have a serious hissy fit.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Excuse Me?

So day two of low carbs and I found out something new...on Atkins you are only allowed 20 grams of carbs a day. 20 GRAMS!!! That's like...a yogurt. That basically means meats, cheese and green vegetables. I thought I could have other vegetables like onions, tomatoes, squash, but NO. Not with Atkins. Right now if I had the opportunity I would PUNCH MR. ATKINS IN THE GROIN. I am so hungry and if I eat anymore cheese I am never going to poop again.

Needless to say I am definitely a little cranky today. I'm in that stage where I'm starving, unbelievably cranky, and did I say hungry? I would kill someone for a piece of fruit. I know that in another two days or so I am going to hit that stage where you're just not as hungry anymore and you can function like a normal human being again, but right now I want to eat my through a loaf of bread. It's definitely taking a reworking of my brain to tell myself what is good and what isn't on this plan. All I can say is that there better be some serious results on Friday...or there might be uncontrollable weeping on the scale.

I'm going to go have a giant steak now and try the low carb ice cream I found. I'll let you know how that goes.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Woman vs. Squash

This week I'm doing the low carb thing, and I'm trying to find ways that I can enjoy it. For breakfast I had an egg, kielbasa, onion, and garlic scramble: it was delicious. Tonight I am going to make a healthier version of spaghetti using a spaghetti squash. For those of you unfamiliar with this type of squash it is a winter squash, like butternut or acorn squash, but actually has less carbs, and it can be shredded to resemble spaghetti noodles. I am also going to use my own homemade sauce, which is delicious and also has no added sugar.

So it begins with the squash:

I decided to cut open the squash, clean out the seeds and add some salt and pepper to it so it could get some flavor while cooking. You can cook it whole, but I chose not to.

I then put it on a baking tray and slipped it in the oven at 375*, face down (I forgot this part and had to run back and flip them over), for about 30 minutes.

When they are tender enough to stick a fork in them, they are ready to go! Take them out and shred them with fork so that they become noodle-like.  This is one half of the squash.

Pour some homemade sauce on and enjoy! I made myself a HUGE portion, but only ate about half of it. There are only 280 calories on that whole plate, and it was so filling!

All in all I would say that today was a success!  

The Carb Queen Abdicates the Throne

This weekend sucked for my diet. I went out to eat for three meals and at the moment I feel so bloated I have Angelina lips. I had steakhouse, mexican, hot dog...oy. Like I previously mentioned, I have decided for my first week of strict dieting I am going low carb. This scares me because I am addicted to carbs. I love them more than any other food group. Also, my blood sugars may plummet to new scary levels, resulting in my being a little less coherent than normal.

By going low carb I am going to stress lean protein and vegetables. I take a vow right now to not have bread, pasta, potatoes, corn, anything like that for Monday through Friday. Saturday will continue to be my cheat day, although I am going to stick with just Saturday! Sunday I will restrict my calories as I decide what I'm going to venture into for the next week. I am already thawing out some of the meat in my freezer and checking my canned and frozen vegetables. I also have a spaghetti squash sitting on my counter waiting for me to attack it with a meat cleaver.

I have never done a low carbohydrate diet before, but I feel that it is important for me. My family has a history of diabetes, and I myself am at risk if I don't get my weight and eating habits under control. I don't want to take insulin injections like my parents do, or worry about blood sugar with everything I eat. I want to find that good balance, and be able to be a healthy example for my future children. Any suggestions on low carb meals would be appreciated. I know I'm going to hate this, but I just need to remember why I'm doing this. It's not to look great in a bikini...although that is an added bonus. It's about feeling healthy and active again.

As for exercise this week and in the weeks to come, I will be training to do a 5k. I am going to follow the training plan of Couch to 5K, which means this week I will be on the treadmill half an hour every day. I will explain that in greater detail later, but basically I hate running and this will be a lot of it. I get the feeling this week is going to suck, but hopefully Friday on the scale will be worth it!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

It's a Family Affair

Part of my weight problems definitely come from my family. And I'm not talking just genetics, I'm talking my mother and the fact that she loves food as much as I do. We all went out to dinner this week for a belated mother's day and we went to a steakhouse. I got ribs. They were delicious and I am so glad I'm not a vegetarian. My mother got bacon wrapped, blue cheese crusted, filet migon. I had a bite and it was amazing. The whole time she was going on about how amazing and rich it was, and I have to agree with was extremely delicious and rich. My mother and I have the same taste in food. We both love things that are bad for you. I can't count how many times we have bonded over food.

I want to be able to enjoy these things, and have these moments where my mother and I actually get along, but I also want to make that the rare occasion. I don't want to 'reward' myself with food, or make up for something I'm lacking with food. I treat food like it's a friend that is going to make me feel better. It's like trying to fill up something that is missing inside of you, by making yourself so full you could puke. I need a healthier relationship with food where I use it for sustenance and limited pleasure instead of acting like it's Rio during Carnival every time I sit down.

This is also important to me because I see how I was raised. When we got a shot at the doctors: ice cream. When we weren't feeling well: whatever would make us happy. The list goes on. I don't want to raise my kids like this. I have never been a skinny person, I was 45lbs when I turned 2, and realistically my ultimate goal isn't to be 'skinny'. I want to be healthy. I want to have kids and be able to raise them to be active and happy. I want to live until I'm 100, and see my grand kids and great grand kids. I don't want to get stopped by diabetes, heart disease, or just obesity that will limit my lifespan.

This week I'm going a strict low carb diet. I have never done this before, but I know that carbs are my ultimate weakness. Bread, potatoes, tortillas...they are all my weakness. I know that if I can give them up, or find alternatives for them, I should be able to balance out my blood sugars and have a better go at loosing weight long term. Wish me luck...and when I'm in a hypoglycemic daze, barely able to remember my own name, tell me to be strong. We're looking toward the end goal!!!

Friday, May 13, 2011

One Week In...


209.9lbs (-4.1) !!!


Bust: 41in
Waist: 37in
Hips: 47in
Ass: 47in


I lost a good amount of weight this week, but I know that the first week is the easiest because you loose water weight.  Also the diet wasn't the best this week because I didn't have a plan and I gave in to temptation with the Sonic episode.  I hope to do better this week and also log some time in the gym.

Girl Pressure

I had lunch with a girlfriend today and I have to say that girlfriend peer pressure is so subversive, but awesome when you're on a diet. It's basically like every girl at the table is trying to eat less than every other girl. There is some sort of psychology that says if we eat more than the girl eating with us than we are the fattest person at the table. Just so we're clear this doesn't make any sense.

I was having sushi with a friend of mine that's 5'2'' and pretty skinny, not stick figure, but healthy. Of course I should be eating more than she is. I have half a foot on her. In the girly mind however, I can't eat more than her or she'll think I'm fat. Well I'm over 200lbs so I think that ship has sailed. Why do we do this? Why can't we just eat until we're full?

This same phenomenon is seen when girls share food. Whoever takes the last bite is the fatty. We will keep whittling away at a single piece of food for an eternity until someone is forced to take that last microscopic sliver or leave it on the plate and forever be labeled. Why does this make a difference? I don't have the answer to this question, but I do know the phenomenon is basically universal.

The upside to this is now that I'm on a diet, peer pressure to eat less when I'm going out is a great thing!Instead of eating and eating I am more conscious about what I put in my body because I perceive myself as being judged by the person eating across from me. Do I think she's really judging what I eat? Of course not, she's an awesome person who loves food as much as I do! However, because I believe that she's judging me, I am more careful about what I put in my system. This is the one upside I can find to this type of harmful female psychology.

I wish that we weren't so judgmental to one another, the world would probably be a happier place, but for today it has worked for my advantage. I got through lunch and I now have 177 calories left for today...great. I'll probably go to bed hungry, but I'm already thinking about green beans for dinner. I still need to work on not reaching for the deep-fried, cream cheese filled roll, but hey, because of girl pressure I only had one of those! Baby steps!

Update: Well baby steps turned into a marathon in the wrong direction. I met a friend at Sonic to hand off a package and I was only going to get a Diet Limeade...but then I got a burger. Epic fail. The scale is going to suck tomorrow.

Fat Girl...How I got here.

215 lbs...215...I stood on that scale in shock.  I had never been that heavy in my entire life.  Just 7 months ago I had been in the low 180's and now I was over thirty pounds heavier.  I can't believe I packed on that much weight in such a short period of time.  And now I need to work on getting it off.  Why is it so easy to pack on the pounds, but so hard to get them off?

I recently got out of a miserable job that greatly contributed to my weight gain.  I was working in the sales department at a for profit university and the stress was incredible.  I was almost completely stationary, being a phone monkey, and I was miserable so all I wanted to do was sleep and eat carbs.  Not a great combination for the waistline.  Now I have a new job starting in three weeks and I need to fit into my work pants again.

So in order to be at a healthy weight for my height, 5'8", I need to loose 50lbs.  It's a bit of a daunting prospect. I have decided that I will try different diets, to keep things interesting, and my goal is to loose those 50lbs in 25 weeks.  Every Friday I will weigh in, take my measurements, and assess how my week went.  Hopefully I will see myself shrink instead of staying in the murk of obesity and depression.

I plan on sampling diets from the extreme, like the Scarsdale diet, to the more mainstream, Volumetrics.  Hopefully my experiences will help other people figure out what is going to work for them, and giving you a warning of what not to try.  Also I will be trying to come to terms with the fact that my body will never be as perfect as I want it to be.  I will strive to accept it as it is, and work to make it healthier, but embrace it as the wonderful thing that keeps me going through everyday.

Note:  This post was originally posted on May 11, 2010, but was erased by Blogger.
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