Mea Culpa

So I feel like I should explain to my readers where I've been for the last nine months.  Here's what happened.  I bought a house!  Meet Esteban, my anthropomorphized house.  

I closed on the house in the middle of June and immediately my computer broke.  So I was without a computer until November, because I had used all of my savings to buy a house!  So all of that time I couldn't post a new blog because I won't use my work time to do it, because my work computer won't let me.  Then with the holidays things got really busy, and I had been so out of practice with this whole blog thing that I didn't get around to posting until my birthday in January.  However, here are the highlights from the time that you missed, and I promise to be better at keeping regular updates going:

I have been in counseling since March and have made some really good progress.  I have also gone back on my anti-depressants since having a really bad bout of depression in Sept/Oct.  I feel really good now that I am working with a team to get my biochemistry and my brain in the right places.  

Because of these psychological changes I have lost 25lbs!  I wish I could say that I was truly trying, but in reality I got into a better space mentally and wasn't compensating with food or eating emotionally anymore.  It's also amazing how once you get your biochemistry under control the cravings completely change.  I want to eat better and I have the energy to get out and get moving.  I think that anyone struggling with weight issues should go to therapy.  It is not a sign of weakness.  It can really help you talk through your internal struggles and get to the root of why you eat the way you do, and what emotional ties you have to food.

Did I mention I bought a HOUSE?!?!  It has been an experience to say the least.  Utility bills, home improvement, electrical issues, decorating.  There has been a lot of work that has gone into this place for me already, and still quite a bit I want to do to get it where I want it to be.  I'm looking forward to the weather getting warmer so that I can get some work done in the yard and get ready for summer BBQ season.  It's really nice to have a space all your own that you can do whatever you want with.  Want to paint that wall read?  DO IT!  Need to get everything in your house sealed up so your heating bill isn't OUTRAGEOUS?  Yeah, getting there!

Those are the biggest things happening with me.  I decided that I'm going to start doing the Weight Watchers program again.  It has worked for me before and I feel like I'm in a really good place and can make a huge difference in my life right now.  It's time to seize the moment!  I worked hard to get my mind where it needs to be and now it's my bodies turn!

27

Today marks the 27th year of my existence on this planet.  I can't say that it's been a smooth ride, but as I sit here today I have a certain sense of peace about where I am in life and where I'm going.  I will write my mea culpa about where I've been all these months later, but suffice to say 26 wasn't my best year ever.  It also wasn't the worst.  I had some amazing highs, but some pretty low moments too.  I'm actually pretty glad that year is over, because this is a chance to start fresh, and move on to where my life is supposed to go.  

For the first time in a long time I am looking at the future with excitement.  I have a job I love, a house I own, and some amazing friends that are a part of my life.  I have struggled with depression and anxiety, and I have come out on top.  I have been going to therapy for the last 10 months and I'm feeling really good about where I'm at mentally.  I have successfully lost 26lbs from my heaviest last summer and I'm already feeling better.  I have a lot of goals for this coming year and I am excited.  I have hope.  I have energy.  I have ambition again.

I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you again as I start this new year in earnest.  I want to share with you my goals and my struggles, and I hope to have some fun along the way.  And let's not forget the food, let's never forget the food.  I plan on making some truly orgasmic recipes for you all.  I'm so happy that I am here and that I have the power and the strength to continue this journey.  I can't wait to see what amazing things lie in wait for me this year.  Welcome back to Three and a Half Stones (now Two and a Third)!

Ole! Southwest Bean Dip

So last week I guest blogged over on They Call Me Hypo with my Garlic Bean Dip Recipe.  I told everyone that I would show how versatile that dip was by posting the Southwest version.  Here it is!  The same basic principle apply only this time you get a completely different (and yet still creamy and delicious) dip.  Hopefully between these recipes, and your own imagination, you will have a dip you can throw together at a moments notice and take to any party.  Regardless of the theme.

So please try them both and enjoy this low fat, high fiber, high protein dish!  I promise, no one will know that it's good for them.

Southwest Bean Dip

2 cans white beans (15.5oz each), rinsed and drained
16oz fat free sour cream
1 bundle green onions
1 can chopped green chiles (7oz)
1/2 cup low fat shredded 'Mexican' cheese (I highly doubt the cheese is from Mexico, so that name seems a bit misleading.  Hence the quotation marks)
1 jalapeno (optional)


In the garlic recipe I pureed everything with an immersion blender, but for this recipe I mashed and mixed.  Because beans are a feature in most southwest cooking, I didn't want to hide them altogether.  So mash the beans and then add the sour cream, green onions, green chiles, and jalapeno.  Once you have it well incorporated, add it to a baking sheet, cover it in the cheese, and pop it in the oven for about 15-20mins.  Take it out, garnish it with a little extra green onion (or jalapeno) and serve!  Every time I've had it, its been a hit!

Spinach Salad with Sweet & Sour Curry Dressing

Spinach really gets a bad rep.  It can taste slimy or dirty if it's not prepared properly, and one bad experience can turn you away from it for good.  However, when you get it fresh, it is fabulous.  Spinach is high in fiber, vitamin A and vitamin K (which is key to a healthy nervous system and bones).  It really is one of the best foods you can put in your body.

This month for Blogger Night with Melissa from They Call Me Hypo we took on spinach to give you two amazing recipes that will help you incorporate this super food into your diet.  Her stuffed summer squash is creamy and rich, while still being low in fat.  My salad is something that you can make in advance and eat everyday for lunch, and I promise you'll want to!  It is sweat and sour with just a bite of spice.  It plays of the earthy flavor of the spinach and the grease of the turkey bacon.  Enjoy!

Spinach Salad w/ Sweet & Sour Curry Dressing:

Salad:

2 bunches of spinach, washed thoroughly

6 hard boiled eggs, sliced (you can just use the egg whites if you want to lower the cholesterol)

12 slices of turkey bacon, cooked to extra crispy and then crushed into bits

Dressing:

2/3 cup sugar substitute (approx. 24 packets)

1/2 cup salad oil

1/2 cup red wine vinegar

3 Tbl lemon juice

1 Tbl minced garlic

4 tsp chili sauce

1 tsp worcestershire sauce

1/2 tsp dry mustard

1/2 tsp curry powder

dash of tobasco (you may omit if you want less spice)

To prepare the salad, put all ingredients for the dressing into a jar and shake until well blended.  Add the spinach, eggs and bacon to a bowl.  Add the amount of dressing you desire.  I find that I always have leftover dressing.  You can take this to work as a lunch.  Since I'm only one person I usually eat this salad for the whole week!  It's simple, it's delicious, it's cheap.  Enjoy!

Get up, Get Out and Smell the Tulips

Having grown up in Washington I feel there is a certain expectation to get out and do something when the weather is nice.  So this weekend, instead of cowering from the sun, I stepped out and embraced it.  For while most of the time it is grey and drearily oppressive, when it is nice out, it is amazing.  It's our best kept secret.

I headed down to the water and met a friend and her daughter.  We got on our walking shoes and walked along the water.  

We chased each other and laughed.  

We stopped and smelled the tulips.

We took funny pictures with statues.

We enjoyed the moment. 

This is what I have been missing in my life.  The feeling of being totally exhausted because you have be moving all day.  The memories of having that perfect day in the sun.  I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face.

Discouraged and Determined

I have had a lot of time to think the last few weeks.  Between being sick and just being lazy I have found that my mind has wandered to some dark and dreary places.  Some days I leap out of bed, filled with light and determination, like the clouds that are constantly threatening me have finally lifted.  Other days it takes all the energy that I have not to sink deep under the covers and wait for the day to be over.  I have been touting this idea of getting healthier and yet I haven’t done what I need to do to truly change things.  I have allowed myself to become complacent in my own life and accepted that this is all there is.  I know that is not true.  I was able to conquer these feelings before.  I was able to get up, get moving, pay attention to what I was doing.  I will strive to recapture that.

I will note everything that I put into my body.  I will stop making myself feel like crap, by filling my body with crap.  I will record, everyday, what I am eating, so that it will be harder to spiral out of control.  I will make sure that I am taking in only what I need to keep going, not the amount I need to hide behind.

I will move.  I will get up off the couch.  Every day I am going to get up.  No more laying around, waiting for life to pass me by.  No more waiting for my life to just pass me by.  I will get up and move.  I will ride my bike to work instead of driving the 10mins to campus.  I will remove the blankets from my couch so I am forced to sit up if I want to watch anything.  I will sift through the piles of junk that have accumulated, both in my space and in my head.  I will open the curtains and let the light in instead of cowering in the dark.

I will hold myself accountable.  It has been almost a year since I began writing this blog and I haven’t gotten any closer to my goal.  I will weigh myself.  I will record what the scale says.  I will not make excuses.  I have the power to change this and I will not hold back.  It is one thing to talk about living healthy and making a change, it is quite another to do it.  So I will hold myself accountable and track my progress through weight and measurement.  I may fail.  I’m terrified of failing.  However, if I don’t try, I will never succeed. 

I just ask for your support and understanding as I pull up my big girl panties and step out into the abyss.  I promise I will try.  I will try.

Mardi Maigre 'Po Boys

This months blogger night has been devoted to Fat Tuesday foods!  Or as my title suggests Skinny Tuesday as I'm now calling it.  Melissa and I got together and made some amazing New Orleans inspired dishes.  I made these amazing 'Po Boys with a spicy Cajun mayo, and a low fat Kings Cake.  Melissa whipped up a delicious gumbo and Cajun green beans, both of which you have to try!  Seriously, go there.

So for the 'Po Boys I fake 'fried' the shrimp, much in the same way I did the pickles from the last post, used a light mayo and kept the sandwich open faced.  This cuts back on the calories, but still gives you all the flavor you're craving.

Ingredients
1/2 lbs medium shrimp, shelled and deviened
1 cup panko crumbs
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup skim milk
dried basil
cayenne pepper
paprika
garlic powder
1 French baguette
1/2 cup light mayonnaise
Cajun seasoning (I used a pre-made mix)
shredded lettuce
sliced tomato
sliced red onion
pickles

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees F.  Take a cooling rack and place it on top of a tin foil lined baking sheet.  In one small bowl mix your flower with your garlic powder, cayenne pepper, basil and paprika.  I didn't measure this portion, just season it to your tastes (ie, if you don't like spicy, don't add very much cayenne).  Also add a little of the same spices to your panko crumbs in another small bowl.  In the third small bowl, place your milk.  Dredge each shrimp through the flour, then the milk and finally in the panko.  Add breaded shrimp to the cooling rack.  Repeat until all your shrimp have been coated.  Cook shrimp under the heat for about two minutes on each side, until shrimp is cooked through and they are a toasted brown on the outside.

Next mix your light mayo with your cajun seasoning.  You get a lot of flavor this way, but again, only add as much seasoning as you like.  It was very strong in pepper, but I love really strong flavors.  Take a Tbl of the mayo and spread it on a 3-4 inch section of the french baguette.  Then layer your lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles and shrimp.  Viola!  You're done.  Its delicious and I really encourage you not to skimp on the pickles.  They add the salty edge you need to compliment the crispy shrimp.

Next I'll give you low-fat King's Cake and a natural Hurricane.  You need a good drink if you're celebrating Carnival!