Most days I go through a variety of emotions about my weight. Sad, motivated, laissez-faire, happy, but today...today I am PISSED. I am so tired of being over-weight. I am tired of my clothes not fitting right. I am angry at myself that I can't seem to get a grasp on it this time around. I am angry that even if I try my hardest it is going to take months to get where I want to be. It is just too much for me to handle today. I want to scream and cry and beat myself up, but I know that it won't do any good. The only upside that I can think of right now is that I am actually not stress eating because of this.
I. AM. DONE. Being a fatty. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I have again. I want to win this battle, but today is a day where I'm so mad at myself for getting into this shape again. Why didn't I work to stay where I was at? I realize that there were medical factors that contributed to my weight game, but I also know that I helped the process along. So today I am angry. I am pissed. I am going to make this happen if it causes me misery in the process.
Enough excuses. I am going to do this. I have to do this. That's my rant for today.