Can a Fat Girl on the inside become a Skinny Girl on the outside?

No one said this was going to be easy...

Monday, August 29, 2011

Not Playing Nice

Most days I go through a variety of emotions about my weight.  Sad, motivated, laissez-faire, happy, but I am PISSED.  I am so tired of being over-weight.  I am tired of my clothes not fitting right.  I am angry at myself that I can't seem to get a grasp on it this time around.  I am angry that even if I try my hardest it is going to take months to get where I want to be.  It is just too much for me to handle today.  I want to scream and cry and beat myself up, but I know that it won't do any good.  The only upside that I can think of right now is that I am actually not stress eating because of this. 

I. AM. DONE. Being a fatty.  I want to look in the mirror and be happy with what I have again.  I want to win this battle, but today is a day where I'm so mad at myself for getting into this shape again.  Why didn't I work to stay where I was at?  I realize that there were medical factors that contributed to my weight game, but I also know that I helped the process along.  So today I am angry.  I am pissed. I am going to make this happen if it causes me misery in the process. 

Enough excuses.  I am going to do this.  I have to do this.  That's my rant for today.

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